"Vegas, baby!"
Lengua tacos are my favorite.
Nevada must have a bunch of Pagans because there was at least 10+ new age or occult shops. Ryan and I picked three of the coolest shops to visit. Las Vegas is weird. All the stores are in mini marts. Las Vegas is basically just casinos and strip malls. I think it's because it's so freaking hot. It was 106 every day. My theory is that every human loses 10 pounds just walking a block. So hanging out in air conditioning is probably preferred. I know I preferred it. If I'm cold I can add layers. Once a person is naked that's it. You can't take your skin off. Since I am a cis woman, I'm not allowed to show my breasts unless I'm selling something which is stupid.
Anyway, the Psychic Eye was as big as a department store. I live in NYC. Everything is small and reduced. So seeing an occult store as big as a Target was a woah moment for me. When you walk in, you are greeted by their workers. I did not know where to start. To the left is crystals, boxes, and Wiccan objects used for rituals or ceremonies. I found a gorgeous chalice that I wanted to use for my handfasting. But I didn't know how I would take the chalice back home. So I put it back. Mwamp mwamp. Where would it fit?! They had a whole section dedicated to dragons, mermaids, and the Egyptian and Greek pantheon. Then the middle section sold small items like pebbles, pentacles, runes, etc on the tables. Then to the right, rows and rows of books. Each bookshelf was dedicated to a different subject. Each row had a chair or a reading room. I think it's witty they call it a reading room. Because the room could be used to do a tarot reading or to read an actual book.
One of the many royal chairs one can sit on or buy at Psychic Eye
Fertility Greek Goddess mirror
Next we went to Blasphemy Boutique which was part old Hot Topic and part new age store. They had the cutest clothes there. Spider web skirts, charmed tank tops, dresses with occult symbols. The store was dark and smelled like incense. You know, how old hot topic was before it went emo and made all their money off Funko Pops. They also had these adorable mugs that said "Witch's Brew" and tea cups that at the bottom read, "I poisoned you." I bought a pastel goth dress and a Toro Tarot deck that I've been wanting for years. Basically, it is a tarot deck that is influenced by the artwork or movies of one of my role models, Guillermo Del Toro, El padre del horror! All my favorite movies are made by him. Blade II was directed by him which is why Blade II isn't a pile of heaping shit like most vampire movies. Only exception is Vampires by John Carpenter. Thank the Gods my Dad loved spoopy stuff and showed me John Carpenter movies once my Mom fell asleep. Guillermo directed Hellboy I and II, Pan's Labyrinth, and The Shape of Water. Co-wrote the Hobbit movies (which is probably why they don't suck). I always thought the Shape of Water was just a prequel to Hellboy. Abe fell in love with Sally. And he stayed with her until her death. After that Abe could never betray her. No woman could ever compete with Sally Hawkins. So saving humanity for Sally's sake is a better option. Yes, I know it's probably not Abe. Shut up! Slut! Ei! Callate! I don't want to hear it. Don't ruin my horror-romance creature of the black lagoon dreams.
Then by pure serendipity we found a cat cafe/ shelter called Hearts Alive Village. So of course Ryan and I had to go and pet cats. Normally a person would have to call in advanced to schedule an appointment, but they let us in anyway. Telling a shelter you foster cats usually wins brownie points.
A very spicy boi. He cheered up once I pet him.
After the cat shelter we went to Sticks and Stones. I never thought a store that sells crystals would be located in a mall. It was strange to me. There was a Hot Topic, a Victoria Secret, a Zumies, all next to each other. I'm not used to seeing pagan or occult stores next to mainstream ones. I'm used to going to fairs or to small boutiques. Sticks and Stones is hiring. So if you live in Vegas or Henderson and need a chill job, apply. The staff was incredibly nice. All the crystals were labeled. At the entrance there are baskets. I didn't realize that until I looked for one. Ryan and I bought so much incense and candles. I want to see if they have an online store so I can rebuy some candles. Because the mango + tangerine yellow agate I would drown in if they made it into a bath bomb. For all those who say I'm too White, "Callate la boca". I love mangos. I think if you're Latino and you don't love mangos or avocados something is seriously wrong with you."
Pictured is the candle I'm itching to burn more, but holding off because I don't know if there will be others. Yes, I am saving this candle. Is that awkward? Or do other neurodivergent people do this too?
We ate dinner and then went to the Mermaid Room at The Silverton Hotel on the outskirts of Vegas. I read the reviews. Many people were disappointed because the mermaids are only there during the day and we went at night. But I had fun. As you all know by now, I LOVE MERMAIDS. So of course I had to go. I wouldn't really call it a room. More like a lobby. It's like a tourist trap to get people to drink at their bar. I had one of their drinks. Woof. Or should I say gloob, glab. Is that the sound a fish makes? I don't know. All I know, is that the fish in the tank were probably sick of another evolved ape with purple hair tapping on their tank. All it took was for one whiskey sour for me to get trashed on top of the other booze from earlier. I don't drink alcohol anymore unless it's a trip or I have friends over. Long story called I used to be an alcoholic. Maybe one day I'll get into it. But that's a hard topic for another time. This is a happy trip.
The wall of mermaids
You got my attention, lady!
Ah yiss, the ocean titty lights. For when you're so drunk and horny and look up and say, "Everything reminds me of her."
Day two ends perfectly. Time to shower and go to bed. Day three starts with seeing Sanguisugabogg at 11am. I didn't even bother wearing makeup. I crammed more tacos in my gob and we ran our asses to see them thinking we were late. There was a line from the escalator downstairs to the Rose Ballroom. I loved Resort World, but having carpet in a place where people are going to be moshing and getting stupid drunk is a terrible idea. Also, I only run for metal. I don't even run when I'm late. So it's a very good thing I work from home. From there it only gets more insane.
Too many bands to watch, not enough time to eat or wipe my butt. You have to wake up early if you want to eat. Sometimes at a fest you could go hours without eating. And I get hangry really fast. Hooray for all my diseases! So I always have to eat or get a snack. Honestly, it was like this the whole fest. Wake up. Get ready. Eat a big meal and snacks. Or if there weren't any bands I liked then eat during their time slot.
But honestly guys it was such an honor with a capital U. I asked every one in At the Gates, in their opinion what is the band or album that represents "Swedish death metal" or the HM-2 sound. I was very pleased with the answers. Then like the hockey nerd that I am, I had to ask what their favorite hockey team is. I was disappointed when one of the members said "I don't watch hockey. I like football." Booo! Football is boring. And they're all ninnies. I've watched the World Cup with my Dad. As soon as they get a leg cramp they're out. Hockey players get punched, sliced, teeth knocked out and they're still playing.
Their "new" guitarist wore an Edge of Sanity shirt. So I asked him what his favorite album from Edge of Sanity is. He pointed to his shirt. I like a man of little words. Because I talk too much. I need someone to balance my chatty Kathy self out.
Personally, I can't pick. I love them all for different reasons. "Nothing But Death Remains" and "Unorthodox" are classic death metal albums. "Spectral Sorrows" has different styles in each song. But "Purgatory Afterglow" has all those catchy riffs. Furthermore, "Crimson I" and "Crimson II" are like a science fiction story with music. Similar to Hyperion or Foundation put to music. The only albums I don't care for are Infernal and Cryptic. These two albums aren't bad. They just seem lackluster compared to the other albums.
Edge of Sanity's "Black Tears."
I then got off the elevator to my floor, 28. They told me I could visit them on floor 33, room blank. I'm keeping the room number to myself. But I said, "It's okay. You're probably sick of me." Tompa said, It was such a pleasure to talk to someone who is so polite and has an amazing taste in music." To me, this is the highest praise I could receive. I then ran to my room to tell Ryan what a fantastic night I had. I ran, I skipped, I probably laughed like a maniac. But so would you if you met one of your favorite bands in an elevator for 28 floors!
Normally, I am a Finn. I stare at the floor in any elevator I ride in. And hope no one speaks to me. But at Psycho Fest you will ride the elevator with anyone! A..N..Y..O..N..E!!!
The day before I was also in a elevator with Ryan. We were coming back to our hotel room for the night. I was eavesdropping on a bunch of Swedes having a conversation. In my defense I have to practice my Swedish somehow. And at the end of the conversation they said," hey this chick understand us." All four dudes laughing so hard they're crying. I said, "Shit! You caught me, I know Swedish." They said, "We thought it was a bit strange that you were nodding and looking at each of us. Usually people give us strange looks." I said," Look this moment is rare for me. I actually can understand your conversation. My friends usually talk Swedish really fast." They said, "It's rare that anybody not in Sweden understands us at all. Good night." Later I look at my phone while I'm laying in bed. It was Tribulation! I had a conversation in Swedish-English with Tribulation. I don't even like that band. But, the guys in Tribulation were kind. I like that.
Then the last day I spoke with a "random guy" on, you guessed it, the elevator yet again. I felt like such an ass interjecting to a stranger's conversation with a friend on their tour in Australia. But my buzzed and extroverted brain said," Fu-- it! It's Psycho!" I said, "Oh yeah, I heard it was a nightmare! Niklas Sandin, who's the bassist of Katatonia told me how much of an inconvenience it was. They lost their instruments. The flight was delayed, then cancelled. Eventually, Katatonia made it. But the gear did not. " Tall guy with long brown hair said, "Yes, that's exactly what happened." Dumb me making conversation with a stranger. Later as I waited for the sound to be fixed for Katatonia I see the same tall dude with the long brown hair I spoke to earlier on stage with a guitar. "Welp, I feel stupid!", I say to myself. Of course this guy knows who Nik is. He plays in a band with him. I didn't have to name drop. Continues to berate myself all day. Stupid, stupid stupid! I feel like every neurodivergent person beats themselves up for not acting "normal". Then to show how tired, out of it I am, I spell Mercyful Fate wrong and tag King Diamond in my Instagram post. He must have laughed his ass off. I don't know Danish. Just Swedish. I imagine he called me a silly goose. I can't imagine King Diamond ever being mean. He's so Danish. They're all super, extremely, nice. They're like the Canada of Scandinavia. It's so uncommon to me after dealing with the entitled humans of the U.S. Please show me a mean Dane. Because I've never met one. The dudes of Undergang and Hyperdentia are extremely nice. Their manners and behavior does not match their filthy, disgusting, and vile music. All sweethearts I swear.
After She Past Away everything went to hell in a handbasket. You know as a person who always pathworks into Helheim I don't know understand why humans say hell is an unpleasant place. Maybe the Christian one. But, Helheim is actually very pleasant to me.
Anyway, Ryan and I went back to our hotel room to pack everything. We took a wee nap. Then we woke up at 5 am and went to the airport. Everything was fine in Vegas. We flew from Vegas to Denver. Southwest who are usually angels of the air royally fu--ed us up. In Denver, they should have cancelled our trip. I would have been happy spending a day in Denver. They made all of us get on a full flight. The flight was supposed to be 4 hours! We were supposed to get home at 4pm! From Denver to New York City. Around our sixth hour I was wondering why it felt like I should be ordering gluten free pizza on my couch, playing with my cats, and watching What We Do in the Shadows. Not sitting in a tight space needing to pee, wishing I was home.
My tablet was dead. I read and napped so much I was sick of doing it. Then the pilot said we were circling Ohio for two hours because LaGuardia was closed. No planes can get through. Another two hours pass they tell us they were circling around Delaware and they aren't going to be able to land. LaGuardia is still closed. And the closest airport in Pennsylvania is taking planes from nearby states so they're all booked.
So now my partner who is also neurodivergent like me is about to loose his shit. He has autism, is bipolar, and is 6ft and has broad shoulders. If I think this flight is awful. Imagine a tall dude who gets over stimulated and hasn't taken his meds. So I'm calming Ryan down to the best of my abilities. My sister has autism. My brother and Mom are bipolar. I was basically trained since I was a child to deal with "difficult" people. We're landing in Baltimore. We are allowed to get food and use the restroom, but we have to come back. Ryan said, "fuck this", He grabbed our luggage and left. A common neurodivergent feeling. Flight attendants need more training with humans who are neurodivergent. The stewardesses were picking on Ryan because his shoulders are sticking out. He's Northern European. What do you want from him? We have big ass shoulders. Mine kept rubbing up against his. He never complained. Or because he voiced his concerns loudly the stewardesses told him to be quiet. People with autism don't handle being told," sir, everything is alright. Please sit down." very well. Earth to neurotypicals, us neurodivergent people need to be told exactly what is happening because we have no concept of time. Not to mention people with autism need to be told every minuet detail because they cannot handle surprises. Surprises are the worst for them. They need to know how to behave. Because social cues aren't natural to them.
At 7:30pm I told the flight attendant my partner and I are just going to get a train to NYC. I had to then go to the Southwest kiosk. We had to wait for 10 minutes just to tell them we forfeit our flight. I'm glad we did. Since we go to Maryland Death Fest every year we know this airport really well. We had a great meal. I had delicious crab cakes. We bought tickets for the 10pm Amtrak to Boston. Glad we took the train, even though we arrived at 2am. All the flights from NYC from Vegas were cancelled. I saw a lot of the same people from our flight and other flights on our train. The whole east coast got fu--ed hard because of a little rain. My Midwestern ass will never understand. It's not snow. Maybe don't build your airports next to an ocean just a thought. That's the only flaw I see with NYC. I love everything about this dirty and loud place.
And that's the end. At least we got home safe and in one piece. And as Silvia Pinal the host in that show my Mom loved to watch Mujer: Caso de La Vida Real says, "Acompañame a ver esta triste historia" in regards to my trip home from Vegas.
Here is the video for all of you that aren't Latino or didn't grow up with this dramatic show
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