Two weeks ago I commented on a musician's post that being a feminist and liking death metal, brutal death metal, goregrind, pornogrind, and slam is possible. Then I remembered that I wrote an essay tying extreme metal to feminism. Many people commented that they would enjoy reading the essay.
I have edited the essay to be more like an editorial article or an opinion piece. I have kept the quotes and the sources used. I just made the writing more relaxed. My academic writing is dry, factual, and serious. Whereas when I blog or write articles I will include personal stories and jokes. I use swears as emphasis.
Background:
When I was a senior at NIU, I took a class on Virginia Woolf's literature. It was my last year of college. I took all the hard classes previously. I was left with space to take fun classes that would help me finish my English credits. My professor asked us to write about our personal experiences and how they are similar to Virginia Woolf's. There are many articles and academic essays written about how sexist men are towards women in the metal scene. Or that women should be included in heavy metal. But, how many articles are written about the participation of women in extreme metal. In my experience, extreme metal has always been more welcoming to women.
Yet if I watched a band from my Dad's youth everyone would be saying comments that would upset most women. I ADORE Van Halen. But everyone knows those songs are sexual or told from a man's perspective. The lyrics "Sail away with someone's daughter," always make me snort because of how blunt they are.
My experiences in the metal scene are what leads me to my next question. Do people assume that if a band writes about "dark subjects" then they must be bad people? Why? My second question was: Why do people always assume you cannot believe in human rights if you listen to music that talks about gruesome or nihilist topics? In my essay, I argue that I prefer people addressing issues through music or symbolism than to never discuss important issues. In addition, I prove that women have always been a part of metal culture. Without further ado, here is "A Pit of One's Own."
Kathy Villagomez
Woolf in my World
4/29/14
Revised 11/28/2023
A Pit of One’s Own
I have always
loved music. I learned to play the flute when I was in
fourth grade. I can also play any instrument in the flute family. I recently
decided that I would fulfill a dream and learn to play drums. At the age of 35, I am a drummer. I have been singing since I was child. I was in choir from
middle school to college. I discovered heavy metal when I found a Black Sabbath CD at the library. I have been enamored with extreme metal, heavy metal, and punk
since I was 13. This passion is one that will never die. O Positive is the name
for my photography project. O Positive is mostly music journalism, but I do
have other styles of photography included. I invented this name for my company
with the intention that music is my blood. Our blood and heart are the source
of life. My blood type is O positive. Therefore, music and creating is what
keeps me alive. Like many metalheads (fans of heavy metal), metal music is a
huge part of my life. It’s not just an interest to me. It is a passion that I will
have until I expire.
In my teens and 20’s, I would attend four shows a month whether they are underground (local/basement/house) or at reputable venues. Now multiply that month times 12 and that would be the grand total of all the shows I have attended in a year. I have a dog now and many responsibilities, so I do not attend as many shows, but when I do, I still go hard. I have over one point five terabytes of metal on my external hard drive. I easily spend 50 dollars on vinyl any time I enter a record store. I own over 200 metal band shirts. This number would be higher had I not sold band shirts that no longer fit me. I understand that merch is the only thing that supports touring bands. I have interviewed and photographed over 150 bands. I own several books written about heavy and extreme metal. I have attended Maryland Death Fest for 10 years. It would have been 11 if the 2020 pandemic did not happen. From the second I wake up to the second I go to sleep I am surrounded by a deafening wall of sound. "That’s the way I like it, baby. I don't want to live forever." Kudos, if you understood that reference I just made. Metal keeps me sane. It helps me distress, but most importantly metal is the one thing I can count on.
I am also very passionate about extreme metal that I am what is called a “metal elitist.” I don’t understand people who casually listen to music. I need every detail about the subjects that I am interested in. I go all the way with my interests, or I don’t bother. I have learned that because of my adhd I need to be passionate or else I will get bored. Thus, losing thousands of dollars on hobbies that only lasted as long as my serotonin. Even, in my early 20s when I wrote this essay it would upset me that other adults would make fun of others for interests that were seen as “childish” or “weird.” Even worse, the sense of rage and despair when fellow metalheads say they can’t take "female" bands seriously. In the metal community in Chicago, I have even heard metalheads say that they would never date a “female” metalhead. These are hurtful comments. I live in New York City now. I have acquired years of life experience since I wrote this essay. Illinois was never meant for me. I have always been an East Coaster. I may have been born and raised in Illinois, but I have the attitude of a person from Boston, NYC, or Philadelphia. This is why my favorite genres of metal and punk are: death metal, hardcore punk, grindcore, goregrind, and slam. I like black metal and doom metal. But, not as much as the subgenres mentioned above.
In this analysis of my world, I address the role women play. How the patriarchy is still brainwashing young people, the LGBTQIA community presence, and men who do not fit the “toxic masculinity” trope. Lastly, how the mainstream uses metal to show sexism and violence towards women. Extreme metal uses gruesome lyrics to discuss how unjust life is. In addition, I will be linking my world with Virginia Woolf’s works and how they apply. At the end, I will include a set of lyrics that I have written in the style of extreme metal to address a social issue I am passionate about.
Extreme metal is a “cluster of metal subgenres characterized by sonic, verbal, and visual transgression” (Kahn- Harris, 1). Schapps and Berkers mention in their article that, “many fans of metal needed a title to distinguish themselves from mainstream metal fans and that could also be where the term extreme metal comes from.” As a metalhead, I would have to agree with Schapps and Berkers definition. The way I define extreme metal is any music that is faster or slower than traditional heavy metal, has violent or obscene lyrics about death, misanthropy, the occult, or science-fiction. Death metal uses tremolo picking, down-tuned guitars, blast beats and vocals that are growled and not sung. Grindcore takes all the elements of death metal and incorporates them with punk beats. While grindcore may write about the same topics as death metal, most grindcore bands approach those topics from a political or human rights perspective.
Riches argues in “Female, Mosher,
Transgressor: A ‘Moshography’ of Transgressive Practices within the Leeds
Extreme Metal Scene” that many sociologists and those who study metal as a
subculture believe that extreme metal provides a space to harbor elitist ideals
as well as power. One of those powers is controlling who is allowed to
participate in the extreme metal community. Riches then says, “extreme metal as
a sub-cultural spectacle is structured by particular ideologies that create a
sense of community through discrete, but poignant mechanisms of gender
inequality” (89). In “Heavy Metal as Controversy and Counterculture," Kahn-
Harris describes heavy metal beginnings “around metal’s male blue-collar
Anglo-American core constituency” (14). This hegemonic structure has seeped
into the extreme metal community and is presumed to be the way that metal is.
Yet, I find this
reasoning troublesome because I am a cis female, and I am a metalhead. I identify
as genderfluid or nonbinary, but I still am comfortable in the body I reside
in. I am a woman biologically speaking. Surely, I should be able to count.
Furthermore, in all the years that I have been attending metal shows I see a steady
increase in female attendance. Not to mention that three of the articles that I
am using are all written by women. Like Virginia Woolf in A Room of One’s
Own, I am questioning the existence of women in extreme metal. Have women
always been a part of extreme metal and been overlooked?
“Grunting Alone: Online Gender
Inequality in Extreme Metal Music” Schapps and Berkers state that the majority
crowd at a metal show consist of 65-70 percent males in the United States,
70-75 percent in the United Kingdom and 85 percent in Germany in 2014. This makes women
the minority by 15 percent. What about female bartenders, journalists, musicians,
photographers, and promoters? Surely, there must be more than 15 percent. Let
us not forget, all the women mentioned by metal media outlets. One might
think this is progress, until one is slapped in the face by headlines like
“Hottest Women in Metal." I see you Revolver. Learning how to be gross like Hit Parader. I'm honestly glad Hit Parader went out of business in 2008. It was the tabloid of rock music.
It seems like a
woman’s place in metal is only as eye candy. Extreme
metal is a male dominated genre. That is the way extreme metal should remain according to some. If women wish to be in extreme metal, they must stay at
their own risk. Women who do attend shows will be put under the male gaze and
gawked at like a prize for existing. For this very reason, many women in extreme metal choose
to dress conservatively or “manly," “tomboyish” to avoid special treatment. I am elated that bands like PoonTickler and Stabbing write
brutal music regardless of the members' sexes. They do not give a fig about being "pretty." They just want to write nasty music that people enjoy. I have no
respect for bands like Arch Enemy. There was a time when I had hope that Angela
Gossow might be that voice. Instead, she bought into the dumb “female fronted" gimmick.
In this instance, I am reminded of Orlando when he is a woman on a ship toward London where he observes that gender changes the way that he is treated and says,” in normal circumstances, a lovely young woman alone would have thought of nothing else; the whole edifice of female government is based on that foundation stone; chastity is their jewel…” (Woolf, Orlando).
I used to cut the sleeves off of my band shirts and wore cargo pants to make myself appear like one of the guys. Now, I cut the sleeves off of my band shirts because Brooklyn summers are too hot for me. I need to stay cool somehow. Sadly, by dressing masculine, it was the only way that I was taken seriously. Over time, I was able to show people my knowledge and understanding of each metal and punk subgenre. A woman’s talent or knowledge of extreme metal should never be wasted on a mouth breather who says, “name five song from this band.” Although, I enjoy tests like these. I like wiping the floor with their tears when they realize this woman knows more about Mortician than they do. I’ve been listening to Mortician since I was in high school in 2006. What outcome did these men think would happen? As Woolf says in all her works, “it is a thousand pities” that some people in extreme metal think this way. Kitteringham's "Extreme Conditions Demand Extreme Responses: The Treatment of Women in Black Metal, Death Metal, Doom Metal, and Grindcore" echoes the same idea that gender has nothing to do with ability or skill.
“The sheer volume of "women in metal" articles proves that despite the undeniable importance of their contributions and ever-increasing presence within the scene, female metallers are still seen as something of a novelty, often a gimmick used to market the genre to the mainstream. Women have been laying down riffs and living for metal since the very beginning, but they have never been as visible as they are now” (Kitteringham, 8).
If female metalheads aren’t
sexualized, they are criticized for not fulfilling their gender role. Moreover,
Schapps and Berkers say that “women are mainly regarded as passive and private consumers
of allegedly slick, prefabricated – hence, inferior – pop music, excluding them
from participating as high status rock musicians” (104). I dispute this
reasoning with my evidence of Jo Bench, bassist of legendary death metal band,
Bolt Thrower and Mythic. Mythic was a death doom band from Pennsylvania.
While they never had an album, I believe that their demo and ep is enough to demonstrate
what women can do. Women are invisible in extreme metal according to
Kitteringham because scholars studying extreme metal do not focus on women in
metal or their achievements. These scholars would rather focus on how gender
biased metal is. I agree with Kitteringham's assessment. In my opinion, focusing on how sexist metal is does no one any
favors. Especially, when any genre of music can be sexist. Kahn-
Harris does say in his response to Kitteringham that “there certainly needs to
be more research on women in metal” (10). This part especially echoes Woolf's concerns for woman writers who have never been given a chance due to their sex.
The experts that she read at the library claim that women are far too
emotional and would not be able to write clearly to produce a masterpiece.
Likewise, in academia, metal studies are not being done on what women can do in
extreme metal, but how they’re limited compared to men.
Similarly, to Woolf, I ask why are some men threatened by allowing women to be a part of metal scenes? Women are not going to take this music away from anyone. Afterall, if women are “weaker” than men, what are these sexists scared about? Are they scared of getting their ego bruised in the pit? Or will they no longer have an ideology that makes them feel powerful?! Are they scared that they're not as skilled musically? At the end of the day, I refuse to disrespect myself to make a stranger feel better. A stranger’s insecurity is not my concern. They should go to therapy like the rest of us. Instead of taking out their neuroses on strangers.
Adam Rafalovich argues that metal music is a way for men to be individuals and deal with their emotions. Rafalovich quotes sociologist, Thomas Scheff who believes that “the emotional lives of men are characterized by the suppression of feelings that instill vulnerability and seeking solace in others” (2). Heavy metal, but especially extreme metal has lyrics about inner turmoil, destruction of self, despair, death, violence etc. By having dark lyrics men are finally able to express their insecurities without being afraid that they will be shun. Rafalovich believes that by including women into extreme metal men will not be able to express themselves fully. By Rafalovich’s logic, I must be a man as well. I too suppress my feelings. It was my mother, not my father, who raised me to believe that showing emotions is a sign of weakness. I was raised to never complain and to never cry. Another issue, with this analysis, is that men are victims of the patriarchy too. Men are humans too. Therefore, they also experience emotions. Like women, men also have gender standards that are ridiculous and unrealistic. Add in, the media selling products to teens by praying on their insecurities. This is the perfect recipe for how misogynists and misandrists are created. Men should not have to hide how they feel. Men should be able to identify how they wish, whenever they want. Why do they need metal to expose these feelings? In fact, I am annoyed because Rafalovich assumes that women cannot feel anger, despair, or inner turmoil. Apparently, the annoyance I feel right now is not real. It does not exist. I love the double standard that women are too emotional, yet men can have some metal to decompress. Need I remind everyone, that when a woman is being “irrational” it is because there is testosterone in her body. When women are experiencing their "men"-strual cycles, we are just behaving like stereotypical men. The difference is we bleed and are asked to do things that any able-bodied adult can do. Menstruation is the definition of death metal. They’re bloody, gross, and uncomfortable. Let’s not forget that if you have Endometriosis like me or PCOS you will also have tissue in your blood. Yes, real, actual, human flesh. And, the wonderful gut punching cramps! If one wants to know what cramps feel like, it’s like being stabbed repeatedly. Or like someone accidently kicking a man in the groin for hours. Women are still expected to work and take care of children even when we feel like we're dying. Overell in “‘[I] hate Girls and Emo[tions’]: Negotiating Masculinity in Grindcore Music” observes that even in the grindcore scene where equality is normalized, men are still not willing to talk about their emotions and would rather their music express how they feel. Overell says that growling is more acceptable in extreme metal than screaming because screaming is associated with women. Yet, many hardcore bands fronted by men sound like little toddlers throwing fits. Two examples are Code Orange and Converge.
Tell me again, how being a woman is not metal? Women are expected to be caretakers, chefs, professionals, and therapists all while we juggle our own emotions. We are stalked and raped. The same can be said about gay men and trans people. The people committing these hate crimes do not see gays or trans as men. Thus, demonstrating that they can only respect men who are similar to them. I do not understand this concept. It just sounds like closet homosexuality to me. If victims do not report their rape, they are seen as fakers. If victims do report their rape, then they’re just trying to ruin the rapist’s life. What about the victim’s life? Or their goals and dreams? For this reason, “Prowler in the Yard” by Pig Destroyer is a great album. “Prowler in the Yard” was written from a stalker’s point of view. Each song demonstrates how deranged and obsessed this guy is with a woman named Jennifer. If anybody needs lyrics about how unfair life is, it’s people who did not get the right to vote until 1920 in the United States. I don’t listen to pop music unless I grew up with it. I still listen to Shakira and Spice Girls. But only if I am in a good mood. So why would I start listening to pop music when I’m upset. Nothing feels better than blasting brutal death metal or slam when I am upset. It calms me down, so I do not become a danger to myself or others.
According to Riches, moshing is “ an aggressive, physically demanding practice which embodies resistance to the impersonal and superficial world of modernity” (90). I have been moshing since I was 15. My first moshpit was Hatebreed at Tinley Park, Illinois. To this day, that Hatebreed pit is the biggest mosh pit I have ever been involved in. It was almost as big as a football field. If the people, I am moshing with are my friends or good people they’ll leave me alone. They know I can protect myself. But occasionally, I still get that “White Knight” who thinks he’s protecting me. It’s hilarious to see confusion on their face. Should they escort me out of the pit? Should they avoid me? Should they go easy on me? I make the choice for them. By throwing them across the pit. Hopefully after that, they realize how silly they were behaving. They can use full force, I won’t break. It’s sad how many men have complimented me on my moshing skills. Or how amazed they were that I managed to knock them down. I deadlift 200 pounds. Nothing is too heavy for me unless I’m physically exhausted. My experience moshing is like Orlando’s treatment by the captain of the ship. The captain is not accustomed to seeing a woman alone by herself. The captain even asks if she needs help. As if Orlando was a helpless creature who needed rescuing. Another example, is in A Room Of One’s Own when Virginia is reading about the criticism that men say about women. “One does not like to be told that one is naturally inferior to a little man” (Woolf, 32). I mosh because in my opinion and the opinion of other women interviewed by Riches the pit is the only place where gender does not matter. Anyone can be a target. All that matters is the music. Moreover, Riches says that the pit is a “space that is transgressed by women who participate in this masculine, chaotic space, disrupting the homosocial bonds of male solidarity” (91).
As stated previously,
the mainstream loves to accuse metal and punk of being sexist towards women.
Have people forgotten how sexist pop music is? One cannot tell me that Beach
Boys lyrics are innocent and clean. Overall, in “‘[I] hate Girls and
Emo[tions’]: Negotiating Masculinity in Grindcore Music” talks about brutality
in terms of acceptance in extreme metal, but also how graphic lyrics in death
metal and grindcore can be. Overall says, “brutal represents the masculine aggression
and violence present in media accounts of brutal crimes, which generally focus
on crimes by men, against women” (200). Many of my favorite bands have
grotesque names or write about grisly murders. Some examples are Autopsy, Dismember, Defeated Sanity, Exhumed, Haemorrhage (who has a guitarist
named Ana), Malignancy, Prostitute Disfigurement, etc. Shock factor is one of
the many reasons these bands write gory lyrics. Mainly, death metal bands choose
to write lyrics that reflect the negative qualities of humanity. These lyrics explore
themes of horror and disgust. Death Metal lyrics do not glorify domestic violence
or toxic behavior towards others like pop and rap music does. There are no
songs about being a groomer or wanting to date teenage girls like in rock music.
There are no lyrics to be found about cheating on a spouse and all that man has
left is his truck like in country music. All lyrics found in extreme metal are
about real emotions and situations that have happened. “Skin Her Alive” by Dismember
was inspired when Matti Karki was reading his local newspaper. He was not aware
that his next-door neighbor killed his girlfriend. Embalming Theater’s album,
The World is a Stage for Murder was written from reading about murders in
newspapers as well. Overall’s interview with a grindcore band from Melbourne
explains that every time the band reads about something gruesome, they must
write about it, to expose it.
I can't growl. I used to be a First Soprano. I am now a Mezzosoprano because I used to incorrectly growl and I ruined my voice. I don't want to continue doing that. I can shout though. That leaves me with three choices: 1. Be in a symphonic metal band (yuck). 2. Be in a hardcore/powerviolence band like Gel. 3. Learn to play a "heavy metal instrument." I chose 3 for now. Unless, I can sound like Antti Bowman from Demilich or David Mikelson from Undergang I will not be doing the vocals. Guttural nasty vocals are my favorite. I NEED to sound like I am choking on a bloody tampon or no deal! I know I am asking for far too much to be like one of my role models, Chris Reifert. But, honestly if I can play drums and do vocals that proficiently then I am on the right path. Get me a pitchshifter like Misamastic Necrosis then I'll be a vocalist. Seeing a woman who can do filthy vocals like Leila Adbul from Vastum or Bridget Lynch from Stabbing fills my heart with happiness. I hope the next time I am in Sweden I can see Agrimonia so I can watch Christina.
In conclusion, extreme metal is not sexist. It is insecure people who listen to extreme metal who think they have a say in what others do. In addition, I hope that more women will continue to be a part of extreme metal. While women are becoming more accepted in extreme metal whether as fans, journalists, and musicians it is still not enough to say that extreme metal is gender neutral. There is still much work to be done. It is also a great comfort that in all my years as a metalhead I have met very few militant and chauvinistic metalheads. Many metalheads are not hateful, they just need to be educated. I will conclude with a quote from A Room of One’s Own, “Some collaboration has to take place in the mind between the woman and the man before the act of creation can be accomplished” (Woolf, 102).
FG
- Christe, Ian. "Death Metal Deliverance." Sound of the Beast: The Complete Headbanging History of Heavy Metal. New York: HarperEntertainment, 2003. 236-68. Print.
- Ekeroth, Daniel. Swedish Death Metal. Brooklyn, NY: Bazillion Points, 2008. Print.
- Hjelm, Titus, Keith Kahn-Harris, and Mark Levine. "Heavy Metal as Controversy and Counterculture." Popular Music History 6.1 (2012): 5-18.IASPM@ Journal. Equinox Publishing Ltd, 2012. Web. PDF. 28 Apr. 2014.
- Kahn-Harris, Keith. Extreme Metal: Music and Culture on the Edge. Oxford: Berg, 2007. Print.
- Kitteringham, Sarah. “Extreme Conditions Demand Extreme Responses: The Treatment of Women in Black Metal, Death Metal, Doom Metal, and Grindcore”. Diss. U of Calgary, 2014. N.p.: n.p., n.d. Academia.edu. Jan. 2014. Web. 28 Apr. 2014. <http://www.academia.edu/6553886/Extreme_Conditions_Demand_Extreme_Responses_The_Treatment_of_Women_in_Black_Metal_Death_Metal_Doom_Metal_and_Grindcore_by_Sarah_Kitteringham_MA>.
- Overell, Rosemary. "‘[I] Hate Girls and Emo[tion]s: Negotiating Masculinity in Grindcore Music." Popular Music History 6.1 (2012): 199-223.IASPM @Journal. , 2012. Web. PDF. 28 Apr. 2014.Rafalovich, Adam. "Broken and Becoming God-Sized: Contemporary Metal Music and Masculine Individualism." JSTOR. Wiley, n.d. Web. 28 Apr. 2014.
- Riches, Gabrielle, Brett Lashua, and Karl Spracken. "Female, Mosher, Transgressor: A ‘Moshography’ of Transgressive Practices within the Leeds Extreme Metal Scene." IASPM@ Journal 4.1 (2012): 87-100. Web. 28 Apr. 2014.
- Schaap, Julian, and Pauwke Berkers. "Grunting Alone? Online Gender Inequality in Extreme Metal Music." IASPM @Journal 4.1 (2014): 100-16. IASPM @Journal. 2014. Web. PDF. 28 Apr. 2014.
- Woolf, Virginia. A Room of One's Own. Ed. Susan Gubar. Orlando, FL: Harcourt, 2005. Print.
- Woolf, Virginia. Orlando: A Biography. Ed. Maria DiBattista and Mark Hussey. Orlando, FL: Harcourt, 2006. Print.
You mutilate the fruit of a little
girl who hasn’t even opened her eyes yet.
She can’t even talk, and you
already speak for her.
Sick Fuck!
She has no concept of sin or
morality.
And yet you pretend she will
dishonor you.
How can one infant be responsible
for:
Your DIRTY reputation.
You are sick!
She never did anything to deserve
this.
How will you look into her eyes
when,
Her blood pools on the ground
What will you say to her when she
screams out in agony?
Begging for forgiveness.
Sick Fuck!
But of course, you won’t take her
in
When her husband throws her out
like yesterday’s
GARBAGE
I’m only 8 she’ll say. Please, Daddy help me. I can't take care of myself.
But you’re the sick fuck who had
to cut her clit off.
I hope you’re happy when you find
her fragile body,
DESCRATED
In a ditch
You did this!
You are responsible!
Sick Fuck!
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