I AM NOT A LIBABILTY: My health issues do not define me.

 

I keep my meds where my tea and coffee are. Because taking meds is nothing to be ashamed of. 

"Are you freelance because of your diseases or because you cannot work with others?"  

I am asked this question by strangers and potential employers ALL the time. It annoys me to no end because the answer is "NO!" Of course, they're not going to believe me. Then, I have to go on a spiel about why I chose to be freelance and frankly that's annoying. These people clearly thought I was worth talking to or have seen my resume. Otherwise, why would they speak to me or offer me an interview? 

Instead of being annoyed, maybe I should go through the trouble of explaining myself. Maybe, if this post is out in the open, people will learn how ableist that question is. Perhaps, they'll understand and gain some compassion. Afterall, I pride myself in being a voice for the voiceless. And, people like me that are neurodivergent or are immunocompromised are constantly being mistreated or passed over for promotions. Throughout the years, I become curious about the job market. I want to branch out and no longer be freelance. But, I am horrified by my discoveries. I do the research or apply to jobs and see that nothing has changed. I still see applications with ableist questions. Supposedly, it's not done anymore. In the state of New York, where I live, asking people if they suffer from a disease is considered "illegal" and yet I still saw these questions on many applications on LinkedIn. My indignation is what causes me to continue being freelance. I am a human just like anyone else. I am not broken just because I do not have the best genes. I am an extrovert. I would love to work with other creatives or with business people. I like learning from different types of people. I do not enjoy living in an echo chamber. But, I refuse to be mistreated because other people are ignorant. In the past, I used to click on "Choose to not disclose." I am sick of doing that.  I blog about my "disabilities" and most copyediting or copywriting want to see your blog or writing samples. Therefore, I can't lie. I have no choice, but to admit I do have "disabilities" even if I don't think that my "disabilities" define me.

These ableists think we can't handle responsibility. Who is more responsible than the people who have had to spend years, decades, or their whole life trying to act "normal" or "healthy"?

It was never my intention to be a business owner or a freelancer for almost 10 years. It just happened. I graduated Northern Illinois University in May 2014. I am not a person to leave things up to chance. 

Having adhd means I am a pro at planning everything. I had to. If I wanted to succeed in school, activities or life in general. I was placed into behavioral therapy and I had to learn to act "neurotypical." This is another reason many people do not believe me when I tell them I have adhd. They don't believe me because they only know the stereotypes or tropes. These people don't understand that like everything in life, it is a spectrum. One of my best friends from home, has worse adhd than mine. I've always helped him get organized. Whereas, my brother's and fiancé's add is lower than mine. We're not all the same. Are these the actions of a person who is lazy? Absolutely not. Those who actually know me will tell you that I am ambitious, driven, hardworking, and open-minded. 

Once again, I don't see my adhd as a hinderance or a nuisance. I use it to my advantage. I researched and I planned everything out so I would be employed immediately after graduation. That's right! I have no student loan debt. Do people understand how rare that is? Yet, I paid mine off five years after I graduated college from my freelance career. ALL FROM MY HARDWORK.  I am a freelancer because I am damn good at it. I am a freelancer because I like coaching and helping people. I am a freelancer because I like being true to myself. I am a freelancer because I like being challenged. So please, don't act like being a freelancer is an insult. Because it's not. If anything that ideology shows how classist and rude people are. I am proud of my work. 

As for my Celiac Disease. Is my immune system weaker than a normal person? Yes, but that's exactly why I am vaccinated and don't play games with my health. I wear masks if I get a cold or worse. Not to mention, I know how to work or function when I am sick because I was a sickly child raised by immigrants who would not let me stay home. And if I did stay home I still had to do my homework.  Getting bronchitis and several respiratory infections as a child has led me to have iron lungs. How do I know this? How many people with a weak immune system can run with their dog? Or can do cardio for 30-45 minutes? Or lift weights? I can do all those things. Again, my Celiac Disease is moderate or average. My dog is my pet. Not my aid. And for whatever reason, if I do consume gluten because it's in everything no matter how much I try to avoid it, the worst that will happen is that I will break out in a rash and they will turn into scabs if I scratch them or bump them. My GI tract will be inflamed. I may sound like a pornogrind album on the toilet. But I will still be okay. I need my brain to do my job, not my skin or my intestines. I can easily ask my doctor for a cream or medication.  

I have been clinically depressed since I was born and I'm still here. Isn't that another sign of how resilient people like me are? Wouldn't employers want to hire people who can accomplish anything no matter the task or the issues that can occur? I'm depressed, not stupid. There's a massive difference. People always assume that if a person is mentally ill they're going to shoot up a place. NO!  Not only is that ableist yet again, it's so disrespectful. The worst I will do is push people away and be a hermit until I'm back to my peppy self. OH NO! THE TRAVESTY! A person decided to take responsibility for their actions and realized their mental health is important. I push people away because I don't want to be rude or mean. I think that's smart and shows empathy. Way more empathy than a person assuming all mentally ill are unstable. Never mind, that, 90 percent of us are medicated and see behavior or trauma therapists. I bet you there's at least 10 people you work with who suffer from anxiety, depression, or bipolar disorder. Yet, most people do not realize this or are aware because society likes to judge. I want to change how people perceive mental illness. That is why I am an advocate and a blogger. 

Endometriosis is not in the list that I have seen in some job postings. I am choosing to include it because it's a horrible disease that I can control. Besides, I thought employers liked women who did not get pregnant. Endometriosis is a reproductive disease. Thus, becoming pregnant is very hard. Personally, I'm not interested in having children until the world improves. I think it's irresponsible to bring a child into a world that has people defending genocide. Others, may think, it's noble to be poor because you have children. I think that notion is cruel and unrealistic. If I can't give my child all the things I had as a child or more than I am not having a child. It is that simple. Yes, when I was a teenager and in my early 20s I missed a lot of school, college or work because I was in so much pain. But, I have been pain free since 2022. That's what happens when I find a gynecologist who actually believes in me and is willing to ensure I am healthy. Whereas before, I just sucked up the pain and carried on. I am not using my womb or fallopian tubes to edit, photograph, translate, or write. I am using my brain, my eyes, and my skills. 

To summarize, stop asking people if they have disabilities because it's ableist, rude, and wrong. We suffer from diseases or conditions, but they do not define us. Please stop asking neurodivergent or chronically ill people to define our worth based on our health.