Disclaimer: These are my experiences. Every Pagan has a different experience or memory.
Here's some Wardruna to get us in the mood.
I'm not sure how to introduce my "deities". Do I start by the region they are from? Do I start with who came first to me? Or do I start with the deities that I have the closest relationship with? I guess all good stories start with guilt. So I will start there.
As I said in my previous blog entry. When I was around 18 I knew that the title, "Wiccan" no longer applied to me. That's what I identified as, but I no longer felt it was who I am. In addition, I felt guilt for wanting to learn more about Celtic and Norse mythology/religion. I felt that this direction was right for me. But it is not my heritage. Or so I thought at the time. I have always worked with nature, instead of against. Humans may be on top of the food chain, but nature can still kill us if we step out of line. Being in harmony with one's environment is what I was trying to achieve. I was already learning how to work with elementals. Runes called me. They would whisper my name every time I picked up a bag of runes. I loved trees! All my childhood and teenager years I spent climbing trees, reading in or under a tree, identifying the species of tree, and beautifying the trees in my parent's backyard. I loved animals so much that my Mom and I started composting all our food. This allowed animals to eat our scraps.
One day I lit a candle and I said in Spanish, "Si alguien de los dioses Aztecas quieran trabajar con migo, estoy aqui." No one came. I now realize the reason no one came was because I used the conquistador's language. But I didn't know Nahuatl. I still don't. It makes me feel horrible. This is why I dislike colonialism. Because of colonialism I grew up learning Spanish just like my parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents. I do not know when or what generation on either side of my family stopped speaking Nahuatl. So I tried again, this time in English. "If any Aztec Deity wants me, I'd happily work with you," I said this before I went to bed. I had a dream where I was walking in a jungle at night. I was led to a pyramid. I climbed it. There a tall and dark woman told me that while I am Mexican I have too much of the enemies' blood. That no Aztec God would work with me unless they really want to. Soon a God of my lineage would contact me." I woke up disappointed. Not even my own people wanted me. Gotta love being a mutt. I'm so mixed that White people think I'm too brown. And Latino people think I'm too pale. I am never good enough. When I was younger I couldn't handle rejection. This really upset me. "It's not fair!" I thought to myself.
Two weeks later in my dreams a tall man with brownish skin, brown eyes, and brown hair came to visit me in my dreams. I was once again in a forest. But it resembled a forest from the Midwest. There was a sea of pine and spruce trees. It was also night. I could see the stars. And it was cold. I could see my breath. In my dream I felt fine because I was wearing a hoodie. I saw an eagle. It said, "follow me." Then I came across a bear. The bear said, "follow me". So I was now following a bear and an eagle. We came to a clearing in the forest. There was a man who had to be at least 7 ft tall. He spoke to me, "a little birdy told me that you are just as passionate about equality as I am."
"My name is Tyr."
"But aren't you Norse?"
"That is correct," Tyr said.
"But I'm Mexican," I said.
"That doesn't matter to me. I work with all kinds of beings. Besides you're one of us," Tyr told me.
"Ok...Is that why you're speaking English. English is my first language. A very confused me said."
"No. I am speaking Old Norse. I have given you the ability to translate any language I speak into the language your brain is the most fluent in," Tyr said.
Mind blown. I then said, "Is it like the Tardis from Doctor Who?"
"Something like that." Tyr said, laughing.
"Why do you look like me?" I said in surprise.
"I am a Jotun. We reflect the elements or the environment we live in. Contrary to some humans, we're not all pale and blonde. Only ice giants look like that. It would endanger us. Or it would kill us. Fire jotuns would burn to a crisp in their environment being fair skinned. I am part of the Aesir now. But before I was an earth jotun."
"Can you tell me more. I've never heard of a Tyr."
"Yes."
"My father is Hymir. Both my parents are jotuns. I came to you because it is rare for a human to be as honest and true as you are. You never lie. You always accomplish what you set out to do. You are dedicated to everything you do. You also have a wicked temper like I did. I want to work on your temper with you. I was the god of War before Odin took over. During the fight of the nine realms we all had to make sacrifices to ensure that all creatures would survive. Because of that I have allied myself with the Allfather. After me, you'll get more of us from my pantheon coming to you. Now go back to sleep."
Tyr is the law keeper of the Aesir. Tyr is always the one with a cool head who will tell the rest of the Aesir to chill out. He, Gerda, and Skaði always deal with jotun business being jotuns themselves. He also has a rune in the Elder futhark which represents justice, fairness, and standing up for what you believe in.
Altar/Offering: Tyr is a very easy god to cater to. He loves browns and greens. Bread and beer are his favorite. His favorite animal is a ram. Moss agate and onyx are his favorite stones. All incense is good to him.
This image is from the videogame God of War, but I think it's accurate.
Here is the first tattoo I ever received. That dream influenced me that much.
Two months after, I kept getting images in my sleep of wolves, snakes, and fire. I also kept seeing lighting and thought maybe I would be working with Thor. But that was not the case. This time I was doing a guided meditation with my Pagan study group and my spirit animal said," Today we're going to meet my grandfather." We were in the basement of the Moondragon. It was big and spacious. I'm always cold so I draped my hoodie over me like a blanket. I was laying on one of the pillows for the meditation. I was listening to the meditation and before I knew it I was no longer on Midgard. I was in a dark forest. I kept hearing animals and weird voices. Glowing eyes everywhere. It felt like a dangerous place. But I felt safe because I was with my spirit animal. I've had this spirit animal since I was a child. I called him Wolfy. As a child he looked like a husky. But now that I was 18, Wolfy was growing up with me. Wolfy was now a massive grey and black wolf. He had grey eyes. I was riding on his back. Then I see a 6 foot tall man with dried blood hair, emerald green eyes, wearing leather pants and shirt. He looked more like a biker or a metalhead than a god. He threw an apple at me. I caught it.
He said, "Hi Kiddos! I see you finally brought her to me."
"I have a name you know." An irate me said.
"I am aware little girl," Loki sneered at me.
I stuck my tongue out at Loki.
Loki talking to Wolfy. "She definitely has our attitude."
"Arrrro," said Wolfy.
"Aren't you going to eat your apple?"
" Hell no. I've read fairytales and mythology. Never eat what is given to you unless they say it's safe. I'm not committing the same mistake as Persephone. I don't care how rude I come off as. No deal. I'll only eat what Wolfy says is not poison. "
"Very perceptive of you." Loki said
"Look at your apple now".
I look. It's moldy. There's maggots in it. What in the fantasy movie is this I think to myself.
" Have you ever wondered why you're different from other people. Even different from other Pagan?"
"Yes!!!!!"
"Or why you can speak to animals and others can't."
"It's because I'm a changeling."
"Yes and no."
"It's because you're my descendant."
"Que?"
"Si, yo soy tu abuelo!"
"And you speak Spanish too?! My brain hurts."
"I'm your 50x grandpappy on your- what do humans call it these days- European?? White?? Side??? But honestly all humans are natives of Midgard. You're all human. You're all native to me. I love to play jokes on beings and to this day I still don't understand racism."
"How is that possible?!"
"All in due time."
"Please tell me this is a joke."
"I love jokes. I am the king of jokes. I can assure you, this is no joke."
"Look sir, I don't believe in anything unless I have proof."
"Daddy to you. Or Father if that makes you feel better."
"Okay, Dad! (sarcasm) If what you're telling me is true, why isn't this a known fact."
"Because most humans are humans. You're one of the few who's genes activated."
"Whatever dude. But if Wolfy trust you, then I trust you."
That was my first conversation with Loki. I've been his child or daughter ever since. Loki needs to get a better PR team. Like Eve in the bible, Loki is blamed for everything in the Edda. In my opinion, none of the events that unfold in the Edda are his fault. Like Tyr, I think Loki only wants to be accepted by the Aesir. I feel that both Odin and Thor take advantage of Loki's willingness to help. Odin always comes to Loki to fix something that Odin or Thor screwed up. Or Odin will demand that Loki steal something Odin needs yet blames Loki. Personally, I see the Allfather as more chaotic than Loki. For some reason, the Aesir always go to jotuns when they need something and then wash their hands of the responsibility. That said Loki would never do anything he didn't feel comfortable doing. I see Loki as the god of freedom and choice. He teaches humans to not make the same mistakes he made. And to always use logic first. Also, I believe Loki has a soft spot for Thor and that is why he always helps him. Loki knows what it's like to disappoint his parents. Not to mention, that Thor can be a rebellious child. Loki understand what it means to want to be your own person.
Loki is the youngest son of an earth jotun named Laufrey. Laufrey is a tree and fire Goddess. Laufrey is the daughter of a fire jotun and an earth jotun. She has two other sons, Helblindi and Byleist with other jotuns. His father is the chief of the Lighting Clan. Farbauti is the son of a fire jotun and a sky jotun. Farbauti is a sky jotun. Similar to Thor, Farbauti can wield lightening. Farbauti can shapeshift and his attacks are pestilence, senility and age. Just like the Finnish God, Ukko. Coincidence?! Perhaps.
Like Odin, Loki is a God of communication. Loki will talk to anyone regardless of their sex, gender, race or age. But his favorite people are underdogs, spirit workers, subcultures, and neurodivergent people. He loves building his followers up. He will never abandon them either. Family is important to Loki because of what was done to them. Loki also thinks Tom Hiddleston does a fantastic job playing him. Even if nothing in the Marvel comics are right.
Maybe Loki is right. Because I am neurodivergent, genderfluid, bisexual, a medium, and I've been able to lucid dream since I was a child. I also listen to punk and metal. Like Loki and Tyr I have a complicated family past. I have degrees in English and journalism which are communication. Not once has this guy ever let me down. He is always here when I need him. He knows how to calm me down, when I am overthinking things. It doesn't matter how trivial a matter is. When we lived in Chicago, parking was always tight and he always found us a parking space.
It is clear to me that monogamy is only found in Midgard and nowhere else. Because Loki was married to Angrboða at the same time as Sigyn. And before either of them he had two daughters with Angrboða's best friend and adopted sister. His daughter are called Flame and Ember.
Altar/Offering: Loki loves sweets, spicy food (especially homemade salsa), carnelian, rubies, garnet, wolves, snakes, birds, children (to play with, not eat), meat, the colors red and black. If you're broke he understands and doesn't require much for his altar. A candle and things you find hiking is good enough.
Closest art piece I could find. 
Look at his mischievous smile.
One year later, while I'm worrying about my dating troubles the Norse goddess of sex and war comes to me while I sleep. This part should not be read by those who are underage! Even though I'm 18-years-of-age I'm still terrified of my Mother. I cannot sleep. I'm trying to figure out who I should date or go for. There are pros and cons of both these humans I selected to see. A part of me is afraid to commit. Sleeping around is so much easier. Especially since I still don't live on my own. My Mother would disown me and I'm not ready to be on my own. I've drank some tea, I've read a book, I drank a mug of hot milk with honey, lastly I've written out pros and cons. But mostly I can't sleep because I remembered a past life memory and it has upset me greatly.
"Can't sleep?"
"Who was that?"
"Don't play dumb, you're too smart and pretty for that. I know you can hear me."
"Hello, I can hear you in my brain. Please leave. I have a paper I need to present to my class."
"Have you tried masturbating?!" That always work for me! Never go to bed upset I always say. It also helps with your presentation", Freja sings to me
"Of course I thought of that! But my fingers are too small! And I'm too scared to buy a toy. What if my Mom hears me?"
"So what? Parents should want their kids to enjoy their bodies. Afterall, they made you in a fit of a passion."
" Eww! Gross."
"Nope. That doesn't seem to be the case my sources say. You were meant to be born."
"Cool. Because I didn't consent to be born."
"Will you knock it off, with the poor me programing. You are more than your depression."
"How do you know that. You don't even know me."
" You think I haven't suffered! I was a prisoner of war!!!" Freya grows big in my headspace. From the beautiful golden maiden she becomes fire and ice. Nothing nice. If you've seen the anime, Fairy Tail picture Erza Scarlett mad. "I was used as a bargaining chip. You don't think I wasn't livid?! But throwing a fit wasn't going to solve anything. It just made me feel better, so I could think and plot how I would gain my freedom and never have to rely on men again. That is why I have picked you to be my Völva. From this day forward I will teach you how to be a valkyrie, how to properly use seiðr, how to gain power without hurting the balance of the nine realms. I will call and you will come. I will be sending you to run errands for other gods and goddesses and they will become your teachers. If you run into any problems, tell me them you are my: child, student, and witch." Freya kissed my forehead and said, "Sleep."
Here is a photo of an angry Erza Scarlett from one of my favorite animes, Fairy Tail.
Freya or Freyja is an old Norse Goddess. The j's in Swedish are pronounced like a y. So either spelling works. Freya has been worshipped since the first century. Like the the Mórrígan some scholars see her as a three point goddess in one. Freja goes by other Goddesses' names such as Gullvig and Heidr. Some people think Freyja and Frigga are the same Goddess. I disagree since I work with both. Two complete different personalities.
Freyja is known as the "Golden Lady" because of her necklace Brísingamen. It is a necklace made out of gold and amber that the best smithing dwarves created for her. Freyja is both a goddess of love, beauty, fertility, sex, gold and magic. Because she taught Odin the art of shapeshifting and spellcraft he owes her half of his slain warriors. She is co-leader of the valkyries. Freyja has a realm in Asgard called Fólkvanger. Her hall is called Sessrumnir. She also has a hall in Vanaheim. Freya rides a chariot pulled by cats. She is often accompanied by her boar Hildivíni, and possesses a cloak of feathers. Her father is Njörðr. Her twin brother is Freyr. Not much is known about the twin's mother. Some scholars say she's an unknown Vanir. I think Freyja's mother was a jotun. Jotuns will breed with anybody. They do not care. Freyja also knows magic. Usually sex magic is primordial thus created by jotuns. Skaði is Freya and Freyr's step-mother. Freya is the Mother of Hnoss and Gersemi with an unknown god.
Altar/Offerings: I love to give Freya whiskers that have fallen from my cats. Sweet fruits and mead. She likes dark chocolate. But nothing too sweet like candy. Be ready to blow all your money on amber necklaces for her and you. So you match. Freyja loves anything shiny. So if you're on a budget stick to crystals. Anything gold or amber she loves. She loves cats and can never have enough statues or crystal figures of cats. Her favorite colors are purple, pink, and blue. She loves all kinds of flowers. Put her statue or altar high up because if you have cats they will rub up against her and she'll fall or break. Her animals are cats, falcons, wolves, and boars. This may be a TMI, but whenever I cut myself or am on my period I'll smear my blood on her altar.
Freja and her boar
From my own altar.
My last deities from this post is actually a pair of siblings all born together. Yes, they are connected to Loki because they're his children.
Bear with me, because my dear reader I'm about to break your brain. Above, in the section about Freyja I said that scholars nor Pagans know who Freya and Freyr's Mother is. Many deities in Norse mythology have bred with jotuns. Thor's mother is a jotun. Odin's grandfather and mother are jotuns. Bragi's mother is a jotun. Tyr and Loki are full jotuns. So it isn't very surprising if Freya's mother is also a jotun. Even children who are half-jotun can still tap into their bloodlines. In the Edda, being able to shapeshift is only a jotun trait. Odin, Freya, and Loki are the ones who can shapeshift. Logically it is because of their jotun heritage. No matter what map is drawn Jotunheim and Vanaheim are always next to each other. Logically, both societies must have traded and mixed with each other. Wolves are both Loki and Freya's animal. Freyja is a war Goddess. Angrboða means anger in every Scandinavian language. Angrboða was able to fight and win Loki's father for King of the Ironwood. Angrboða is also the witch of the Ironwood. Beings from all the nine realms come to visit her and ask for her help. She is skilled in prophecy, divination, shapeshifting, and sex magic just like Freya. Moreover, Angrboða is a tall, muscular giantess with reddish hair. Freya also has reddish hair and is muscular, but curvy at the same time. They both are very passionate and blood thirsty. But wait, there's more! Sigyn was Freyja's friend and her handmaiden. But she's also Loki's Asgardian wife. Conclusion: Angrboða is Freya's "dark" or jotun aspect. How else could Freya become a war goddess. What I saw when she visited me was definitely a tall and annoyed goddess who wouldn't take a teenager's sass. Angrboða is also the mother of Loki's children. So who are Loki's children?
Although Angrboða gave birth to all of them at the same time. I'll start with Hel. She's my favorite. But like all triplets they're all born right after each other. Fenris was born first, then Hel, and finally Jormundgand.
True to Freya's word she did pimp me out to other Norse deities. Not that I minded. Hel came to me at the most appropriate time of my life. I was dealing with my depression, my Mommy issues, an abusive boyfriend, and trying to find my place in life. I was living on my own. I started Northern Illinois University. I finally was able to be myself, but what was the point if I still felt like an outcast. Worst of all, I couldn't even enjoy this small victory because I was swamped with homework and kept burying my emotions in alcohol. I broke up with my abusive boyfriend before I started college, but he did not understand what no meant. He kept stalking me or buying me things. It made me so angry. I paid for everything in order to go to college, with the exception of my rent. My Dad paid for my rent. Which he didn't have to do. I was getting ready to go to bed. I was taking a bath and playing Katatonia as one does when they're trying to relax. I fell asleep in the bath. When a tall, curvy lady with long silver hair was hovering over me; talking to me with a soft and melodious voice.
"Hello baby sister!"
"Holy shit! Screams. "You scared the crap out of me," I said.
"I do that a lot. Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."
"I'm not scared. I'm just shocked. I didn't expect to see another deity so soon."
"Freya did say I would come, didn't she?"
"She said she'd make me go on errands for other gods."
"Oops. I couldn't wait. Dad said we had another relative. But you remind me of me and my siblings. So you're officially my sister."
"I am honored. What's your name," I asked the pretty lady.
"My name is Hel. You can also call me Hela. My father is Loki. Like you, I've had a hard life. But unlike you I was born knowing I would. I have my Mother's gift of prophecy. I have always known my place in this universe." Hel lifts her hair to show me her face.
"Well Hel, I think all of you is beautiful. Even your rotting face. Freya and Mami Kata (my maternal grandmother) have shown me that death is not something to be afraid of. But to embrace like a friend. That is the natural order of life. Besides we never truly die if people speak our names and our flesh becomes one with the earth."
"You mean... you really aren't afraid of me?"
"No! Why would I? Mexicans celebrate el Dia de los Muertos. We even dress like our beloved dead."
"Wow! That's so cool!"
"I do not know if Freya has told you, but my abuela was a medium. She gave me her gifts. The dead don't scare me. I'm more afraid of the living. I suspect I've been playing with ghosts since I was a kid."
"Oh. Maybe once you're stronger you can come visit me in Helheim. That's my home. Now go to bed."
Hel is the goddess of death in the Norse pantheon. Hel and the Norns in my opinion are the most powerful in Norse mythology. It is said that even the Allfather cannot conquer death nor fate. Hel was born as a symbol of polarity: life and death. The life part of her is absolutely stunning. She looks exactly like her Mother, Freya/Angrboða body shape wise. Unlike both her parents, Hel has silver hair not red hair. She only has one sapphire blue eye. Hel's other half is all skeleton. As a child the Gods were terrified of her because Hel was a reminder that even gods can die.
Hel rules over Helheim. She has built a castle named Elvidnir. Garm is her pet wolf, guardian, and also a jotun from the Wolf Clan. What I love the most about Hel is her dedication to her people. She sees all the dead as her children. She has magic like her parents and keeps expanding Helheim in order to accommodate everyone. While Helheim has a black sky, orchards, hills, lakes, and roads; it is still a dangerous place. Hel is very protective of her dead. Only people who work with her are allowed in her realm. Hel has a soft spot for abused women, kids, and animals. Because I am in service of both Hel and Freya, this makes me a grim reaper or to borrow a word from my Irish ancestors a banshee. A collector of souls. Like Hel, I love animals and every time I see a dead animal I'll keep their spirit in a bottle and bring it to her. Hel is unbreakable. When she has made up her mind, nothing will change her decision. Hel, just like me hates liars. Do not make a promise you cannot keep with her.
Altar/Offerings: Like Freya, Hel loves flowers. Especially if they're dried or preserved. Roses are her favorite. She doesn't really care for food offerings, but if you have gin she'll gladly have a shot. Hel's favorite thing in all the nine realms is literature and music. She loves music of all kinds, but her favorite genre is...DEATH METAL. Hel loves when I read to her. It could be my own writing or a book I am currently reading. Like Freya she also likes blood offerings. But beware, only give blood to a deity you work with or trust. She also loves jewelry. Snowflake obsidian, amethyst, and any quartz are her preferred crystals.
The closet version of Hel I could find.
My altar to Hel.
Fenris is Hel's brother and boy did he get handed the worst fate in my opinion. If you're a metalhead perhaps you've heard of this name from a friendly Norwegian in a band called Darkthrone. Gylve Nagell and the actual Fenris have complete different temperaments. I would too! If all of the nine realms saw me as a threat! Rude! While Fenris has a humanoid body, he preferred his wolf body. He clearly has Wolf Clan blood like his Mother, Angrboða. He was kidnapped by Odin and given to Tyr. Last time I checked, kidnapping a child even if he is a massive wolf is frowned upon. And you wonder why Loki killed Baldur, Odin! So Tyr raised him. Tyr has told me that he felt horrible for what was done to Fenrir. He knows what it's like to feel like a monster. Tyr wanted to make sure that Fenris would only become violent as a way to defend himself. Tyr taught Fenris right from wrong. Fenris was never allowed to see his parents. And yet Odin still saw Fenrir as a threat. So Fenris was chained up. Wolfy, my spirit animal is actually one of Fenris's children. See, the connection! I believe that Ragnarok is a Christian creation. I want to believe that Tyr being the God of Justice let Fenris go. Fenris is living the rest of his life in the Ironwood. What was done to Fenris is unfair! Fenris doesn't like talking to humanoids unless they're related to him. And even then he prefers to astral project due to his past. Do not summon Fenrir to do your bidding. He'll just eat you. Do not waste his time! Fenrir is an animal and a jotun. Approach with caution. Fenris teaches us to embrace our inner darkness. To never take anybody's shit. And even if you're chained, inside you are still free. Fenris has only come to see me a couple times. But the rage that I carry is the same as his. Or so I've been told by Tyr and Hel.
Altar/Offerings: Fenris's favorite color is black. Fenrir likes fast music. He loves meat of all kinds, but steak is his favourite. Like his sister and mother blood is a good offering. But be prepared for all the emotions you will feel being connected to him. So far, the only crystals Fenris likes are smoky quartz and any black crystal like obsidian or onyx. He doesn't like smoke or incense. Unless it smells earthy.
I like this photo the best because he's free. No longer enslaved.
My personal altar to Fenrir.
Last of the siblings is Jormungand. Jormundgand is a sea serpent. Like their brother Fenrir they also preferred their animal body over their humanoid one. Unlike their siblings Jormungand is nonbinary. Jormungand is both female and male and neither at the same time. They were originally the size of a regular snake. Then they grew as big as Fenrir. Odin's solution was to throw Jormungand into the ocean. Which wasn't very smart in my opinion, because snakes are like gold fish, they grow as big as their enclosure or environment allows them. Give a snake a world and it will grow as big as a planet. Common sense to me and I'm just a changeling. According to Raven Kaldera in his Jotunbook, "It was not so much that it could use magic, as that it was magic, a living conduit of power." Jormungand's presence protects the whole world and the inhabitants. Jormungand doesn't speak the way that Hel and Fenrir does. They use body language or telepathically speaks to you. The one time I spoke with Jormungand I only heard hissing in my head, but it somehow made sense. Jormungand is a loner like most jotuns. So it's best to leave them alone unless you need their help with magic or snakes. Jormungand teaches us to mind our business, to be fiercely independent, and that we never stop growing or learning.
Altar/Offerings: Jormungand is just happy humans include them. Their favorite colors are green and blue. They love shells and seaweed. Fish is their favorite food. Regular water is their beverage of choice. They like rocks from the ocean. And if you have the budget pearls are nice, but not necessary.
A good artist rendering of Jormungand.
Here's my altar for Jormungand.
And now you all understand what my tattoo sleeve is all about.
Tattoo done by Jake at Royal Flesh Tattoo Studio in Chicago.
If you thought this blog entry was long, you're wrong. I have more deities in the Norse pantheon to discuss. And I haven't even discussed my Celtic or Aztec deities.
Thanks for reading! And thanks to all the awesome artists who's work has been stolen or placed on google. I wish I could find all of you and credit you for your beautiful works of art.
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